::Sigh::

In retrospect, I am thinking that the world would be a much better place if other people just kind of shut one another out. The daily pain of being hurt by people you trust and love is intimidating, the kind of thing that sits on your chest when you're trying to sleep and laughs at you when you wake up. You look in the mirror, taking in the rings around your eyes and the acne on your face, and you think, "Is it worth it?" And the pain rings in your ears and you think, "No, probably not...but I'm gonna try my best anyway."
So you go out into the world and you make the best of things. It's okay that your best friend is suddenly self-obsessed and unwilling to listen to a thing you say. It's okay that you walk into your home and nobody even looks up. It's okay that you've missed a shower again because you know that someone else needs it more. It's okay that you feel like you're working so hard and going nowhere. It's even okay that people throw their good deeds in your face, like you owe them something, even though you do them numerous favors everyday expecting nothing. It's okay.
And as you stare at yourself in the mirror, you realize that it is NOT okay. It never has been, and it probably won't be. Why would you put yourself through this? Why would you continue to look out for others despite their lack of interest in you? Because they deserve it, you think. Because I want people to treat me the way I treat them.
You don't do it for a reward, you convince yourself. You make other people happy because happiness is hard to come by these days. It's worth it just to see someone smile.

But when is the last time YOU smiled?