I talked with my old youth pastor today. Well, I shouldn't say old, that makes it sound like I was in high school decades ago, it's only been two years! At any rate, I can't go to the high school group anymore, I'm too ancient. I miss it so much because that's where I grew up, you know? Spiritually, I learned so much with that group of people; they're my second family, I know I am always welcome and safe at with them. I got baptized with them watching, I asked them to pray for me, I told them the deepest frustrations and joys. And now I go to a school where that is (supposedly) happening with everyone you meet. Does it feel like a family? We'll see.
Jeff said something profound (as he often does, without knowing it). He explained to me that it was interesting to watch as his students moved on, as they moved away from him and into new lives that Jeff knew nothing about. "And before you know it, they're getting married! And I'm like 'I don't even know your fiance....'" How weird much that be? You go from a spiritual mentor to a casual friend within a matter of years. sometimes not even that! And Jeff sees it happen every single year. He joked that he keeps himself distant so that he doesn't get hurt, and if you knew Jeff, you would know why that's a ridiculous statement. But I couldn't help thinking, "How much better off would we be if we didn't invest in people that we knew would leave us? What if we just didn't take the risk, made sure we didn't get hurt? Would the world be a better place?
I say that the good things that result from the relationships we build and/or burn far outweigh the bad things. I mean, look, we wouldn't have half of the great musicians we have now....what would they write about? A life with no risks and no heartache is boring and, in my opinion, isn't a life at all. You wouldn't learn anything about people, or yourself. I actually know a person who is like this, trapped by his fear of getting close to anyone. He saddens me, but what can you do to convince people that it's worth the potential pain? The relationships we have while we are alive are everything, and I cherish every one of them.
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That potential pain is scary, man! I mean, it's scary enough to hear about it or see it in your friends, the heartache and the abandonment, but once you've experienced it, it's enough to make anyone want to hide for the rest of their lives. I could never have praised god for my trials a year ago. I'm no Job.
But I agree with you; it's definitely worth the pain later. Having the insight at the time of the pain hardly helps, but at the end, it shapes who we are. Also, risking again after we've been hurt I think makes us braver and smarter. I couldn't have risked anything after jamie, because I couldn't have afforded to loose again. But look what I've learned, and how much I'm willing to risk now...I praise god for that.
=)
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