My Own Worst Enemy

How much of me is me? I guess what I mean is...to what extent am I consciously making my decisions and doing what I want? How much of it is God? How much of it is the Devil? I like to think most of my life is based around how God would want me to live it. I've lived that way since I was 13, and it hasn't failed me yet. But lately, I've been compulsive, quick to questionable actions, like a toddler who hasn't learned the rules yet. Is this the inherent nature of the adult Chelsea Burdick? Just because I've learned more about the world and its people doesn't give me an excuse to give in to the darker side that has always been lurking in the dark recesses of my tired mind. I sit and wonder if that very thing is what Christianity struggles to fight, to keep at bay. Spiritual warfare could be raging around me as we speak, as I attempt to keep control of my heart and actions, and for all I know I could be losing. I can't help but feel it is my war too, and I am failing miserably.